Missing Someone. . .

My whole life was built up for this moment.  I tried so hard to come where I am today and I cannot let it go.  However, having no one of the people you love next to you moments like this it gets harder and frustrating.  Do you ever have that feeling when you just want to see someone and give them a big hug so that it will ease what you are going through?  I feel it all the time.  I have chosen to be where I am, I make my own decisions, but I miss them.  I miss them a lot.  It gets hard, but it can only gets better I guess.

Sometimes, it is heartbreaking, because there are moments you want to share, but you can't.  My family, my friends are the most important people in my life.  My friends! I miss them so much.  I have never felt this loved before.  In my whole life, I was living in a joke and a lie.  I could never be myself, because I thought no one would like me as I am.  Such a lie.

A lot of people went from 'friends' to enemies or to just completely strangers.  I have pushed a lot of them away, mostly because I knew that if they knew me better they would not like who I was.  Truth is, I was with the wrong people and I made bad choices that lead me to be with none of them today.  I was young and I did not know what was the right choice

for me.  It doesn't matter who you've known the longest, but who would never leave you when things got bad.  They would stick with you, support you and with no judgement.  Those who came and stayed are the most precious pieces and parts that complete me and my life.

When I was a teen, I used to cry all the time and my 'friends' were the main reason.  I never felt, that I fit in their world, maybe because I was 'handling' them in the wrong way.  I never knew how to act or who to be when I was with them.  I was unhappy then, but I am happy now.

I miss my friends, but I'm here because of them and for them.  I finally feel that I have someone to feel proud of me.  I am who I am  and they would never try and change me.  It's a nice feeling.  I want them to be proud. I want to look in their eyes, one day, and see the sparkle that will make me feel proud of myself and who I have become.  I miss them, I do and I will never stop missing them, but my 'walk' has just started.  As long as they walk it with me, no matter the distance [or no distance], I will only get further and further.

This is finally me and I like who I am, but I owe most part of it to them, because they accepted me with all my flaws.  This is how it should be - always being yourself, so the right people will love you - and am very thankful they are in my life.

This is for them..

It's time to Let Go

Have you ever thought that people like to bring you down repeatedly?  Are those people who you call "friends"?  Did you ever try to impress the wrong people in order to feel satisfy with yourself?  Well, let me tell you something!  I used to believe that, and I used to trying and impress people, because I thought they would like me "more".  Now, I grew up.  I learned how things work and what is more important in life.  I am not saying that I am old enough, but I experienced a lot of situations while growing up and on my way to find who I am.

Being young, there are times that you feel like you do not fit in.  Your 'only option' is to try and impress people in order to like you.  You lie to them, but mostly you lie to Yourself.  You will never have real friends if you lie to them, because your only concern is to impress them.  People will not like you and they won't be your friends based upon your lies.  Does it really matter if you impress them?  Well..No..  Making friends is very easy as long as you are being yourself.  Then, you will find the real ones, who will see behind the imperfections.  No one is perfect, because perfect is not real, and real is NOT perfect.  It takes time to learn someone and see what is hiding behind his/her 'perfect world'.

Sometimes, wrong people walk in our lives, but we have the choice to leave them behind or just give them a chance.   Everyone deserves a second chance, but let's be realistics here.  YOUR Life depends on those second chances.  When you see that certain people make you feel bad whatever the reason is, the only one who breaks down is you, while they watch and laugh.  Why wasting your time with them, when you could meet your best friend in the next corner?  You don't have to impress anyone who does not deserve to be in your life.  The right people will be impressed by you when they discover the Real You.

You can't impress or satisfy everyone.  Leave the past behind.  Let those people go and set yourself free from all the drama.  You do not need anyone in your life if they do not need you in theirs.  Let them go.  You will be better without them.  Focus your time and spend it with those who deserve You.  It's time to Let Go. . .

Never Give Up

You start dreaming and making plans for the future.  Your future.  There comes a time, when you decide to make a plan for your life.  A lot of people do not like plans, but those who do, they always try and stick to them.  However, do you think is silly making plans for the future?  Is that enough that it would make you hold on and continue?  Personally, I was never a person with plans, but while growing up, I realized it was one of my mistakes.  Now, I am in a position in my life, that making plans is not a bad idea.  In order to get and reach somewhere, you should have a plan.  Plans do not always work, but if it won't work out, there is always plan B, C or even D.  The point is that, you should Never Give Up trying, if you really want something.  Nothing comes easy, unless you believe you can do it.  Work Hard.  Believe in Yourself and push your limits to the highest level.  

No one is ever too old or too young to achieve his/her dreams or something he/she believes in.  Unfortunately, we do not always have the support we need and it might get even harder at times, because we do not try to satisfy ourselves, but also people around us.  Despite that, you Never give up.  You keep trying and trying and trying.  You have to show them that you can do it.  You can push yourself to the limit and you can succeed.

Nothing ENDS = Effort Never Dies and you NEVER stop pushing.  Pick up every opportunity that comes in your way and try it.  It might not be a successful one from the first time, but take the next one and try even harder.  When you feel like giving up look yourself in the mirror and scream "I can Do this!" Experiment.  Try new things.  Make your plans work and make yourself proud. Nothing really ends.  I always believed that life is like a big house with lots of doors.  You just pick one and you go for it. Do not be afraid to open a new door.  There is always the option to try the next one afterwards.

Lesson Learnt

We make mistakes, because we are human beings.  Sometimes, they are small ones, but sometimes, they are big ones and affect our lives.  Repeatedly, we say "It won't happen again", but  is a truthful lie that we don't even believe.  Lessons will be learnt from those mistakes, so what we have to do is keep them in our mind and learn from them.  No matter how many times you will repeat the same mistake, or no matter how many mistakes you will repeat, is part of your life and the choices you make.  Make wise choices, but do not fear in taking chances and risks.  A mistake might lead to something extraordinary and interesting in your life that you didn't think it could.

Sometimes, you cannot apologize for your mistakes, because you choose to make them, but once you realize is a mistake there is not much you can do.  Keep in mind that mistakes and lessons are to be learnt.  While you move on with your life, you will make  more and more, but Be Careful in what mistakes you make.  They can become your lessons learnt, but the price you will pay for a bad one might be painful and heartbreaking.  If you think you can take the pain do it. It will only make you stronger and better.