Trying to get your spot in a new world is not easy. I haven't written in here for like ages and I want to apologize. I will be more active now.
So the real deal is that I moved to London a couple of months ago, and I have been trying to get a job since then. I graduated this summer and is actually really difficult to get one if you don't have any experience in the UK. It gets stressful and upsetting, so I decided to start doing what I used to love few years back, before I even moved in the UK, like 4 years ago.
I really loved sketching and drawing, because it would "block" the rest of the world and I could just get lost while I created my drawings. I tried Graphic Designs, I was learning Fine Art and I was into Fashion Figures and Designs. Even though I studied something else (English Literature), this is a way of expression and letting your emotions to be shown in the drawings. I love writing and speaking with 'freedom' of speech, which lead me into studying English Literature. I also adore books!!! Books, writing and speaking is also an Art of expression.
However, there are times that writing and trying to express your emotions cannot be written in a piece of paper so you can try different things. This is why I love sketching and drawing. I'm not an expert to it, but I do try due to the few lessons I had. It's a whole other level and is a more creative side of a person who talks less than expressing herself sometimes. I am a straight forward person and no matter what I will say my opinion even if it's harsh or raw. I was never like that; I used to lie to people when I was younger, but not because I wanted to, but because I thought no one would like me if I was telling the truth. That changed. I learned to be true to my self so I can be true to the people I meet.
Knowing people who have jobs that hate to do is something I'm afraid I will end up with. They are studying, or even those who don't have the chance to go to college are trying to get their place in a world where it can be a happy or a sad ending. People who love their jobs and what they do are those I admire the most. They see the chance and they take it without thinking 'I will succeed' or 'I will fail'. There is not succeeding if you don't fail at least once. If you fail more than once, you just have to keep trying. Trying to be positive in order to succeed, occasionally doesn't always work. Every now and then it gets harder and you feel like nothing is working, but you have to be able to keep trying. Nothing ever comes easy, but when it arrives you will gain your confidence back and then you will succeed.
From time to time, people will test your strength and your abilities, not because they are trying to bring you down, but because they know you can do it. You will eventually realize it and you will be grateful. I am grateful for what I have and what I don't have. Not all of us find everything right there in front of our feet from others who have worked their butts off to be where they are today. Not all of us get opportunities easy. We have to work hard and make our own path in the world. There is always a light at the end of all tunnels and I am looking forward to it. I still believe in me and I do hope for everyone who is trying to find a place in the world, to make it until the end.
My mom keeps saying "Don't worry, everything will be okay. It can't get worse and if it gets it can always get better." She does have a point and I admire her for having the strength and always be positive regardless everything that is happening. The truth is, not everyone has the support from their families in what they do, and some people don't even have families, so I am grateful for mine. Always been and always will be. My mom is my biggest fan since I can remember. When I told her and showed her that I started drawing again I saw that sparkle in her eyes and felt how proud she was. She always used to say that 'despite what is going to happen in your life, never forget what you can do and how many things you can achieve'. So true, but yet somewhere along the way you forget and you just give up things you love to do. Like me, there is always time to get back to it and try again. It will be a good feeling and it can change your 'luck', just because you start believing in yourself.
For the past few weeks I have been drawing and sketching and even painting as you can see below (all the pictures are my drawings/paintings/sketches). Not all of my close people know that I can draw really well sometimes and that's something I haven't really figured out why. Maybe, it's because it was something that was included in my past, a subject that I don't like to talk about. But now that is becoming my present I really want to show it off and say I can do that without caring what reaction I will get. I brought 'back' a piece of myself I used to love and makes me think that I can do whatever I like and be proud for it.
What I tried to say in this post is that regardless what is happening in your life never give up on things that make you feel proud and happy. You deserve to feel happy and be proud of who you are. No one can take your dreams away and there is not a person that should make you feel bad for things you love to do. Never give up on YOU and always make the best out of yourself in order to become a better person. You may not always feel like things are going well, but it will only get better. Keep trying and stay positive. The only thing you get by being negative is bad mood and be upset. It's okay sometimes not to be okay, but things will get better. I promise you! :)