Once upon a time... No, not really.. This is not a fairytale. There is not such thing as fairytales with happy endings and the perfect prince nor the perfect princess. We are the ones who tell a story, because we create our own fairytale. Is not always a happy or a sad ending, but one thing is sure - we decide what the ending will be like. Fairytales lead to romance, but isn't the romance that should lead into a fairytale? Yet again, does romance still exists in men and women's lives?
Well, life is not a black and white movie with steam trains, where the man or the woman awaits at the train station with kids, or flowers and a cute dog. Nowadays, people won't even wait by the train station for someone, pretty much because the romance is faded away. But is it really the romance withered, or it all depends on the character and lifestyle of someone? Is cheating one of the reasons that romance vanished; and the reason to 'crush' a fairytale? Why do people cheat? Oh, this is going to be a hell of a ride. But remember, this is my opinion and I write through my own view from what I see and experience in my life.
So here is how things started that lead me into writing about this subject. I was having a really interesting conversation with a guy friend of mine and ended up playing the truth or dare game. Now this sounds weird, but we ended up just answering 'truth' questions. I believe that 'truth' is a dare by itself, just because you end up knowing things about a person that you would never dare ask unless it was for a game.
As a woman who 'seeks' for romance I never really had any of it in my life so far to be honest. I would like for once a guy that I'm dating to pop up at my door, bring me flowers, give me a kiss and take me out to a lovely dinner. I mean, there is nothing wrong with wanting flowers that would make you feel special, right? Well, apparently, men take the whole romance subject differently than women. And am not saying it because of the conversation I had with my friend, but because he was NOT the only man I 've met who said "I'm not a romantic guy." I only met one guy so far who was very romantic, and this actually happened! I remember him saying: "I wish there were still steam trains with that weird sound, so I would wait for you by the train station with my dog and give you a quick kiss when I see you." Still no flowers, but not complaining; at least he was there with his dog waiting and I got the kiss! So is not that the romance is gone, is because there are only a few men left that still believe in it. Unfortunately, there are more women in this planet than men which makes you wonder whether you will find a romantic guy or not.
Relationships do not last, and one of the few reasons is because that spark and romance is not existent. For example, a woman will make you dinner and wait for you to get home every single night. So why not show your appreciation and love for her by doing something similarly good and nice? I get the fact that roses are expensive, but you bet we worth it once in a while! If a woman will tell you she doesn't like flowers and all the romantic stuff, she is totally lying. Once in a while, even those women would like to feel some romance. For me, romance keeps the spark in a relationship alive, plus it will not make me get bored and I will feel special. I like a guy who can keep me up on my feet and remind me everyday why is it important to him that I am in his life. So when I respect you and try to make things work in order to be in a healthy relationship, you should do the same.
Speaking about respect and romance, there comes the question "Why would I ever cheat on you, when you wouldn't do it to me?" The answer that most men and women would give you is the one "Because you don't really love me." Now that is one hell of a lie. I can sit here and tell you a whole number of 'love stories' who ended up being broken just because one of them cheated. However, I will stick only to one and that is my own. When you are in a relationship, as I said above, you want to feel that spark and also feel you are special to the one you are with. Women like to feel that a guy would do anything to stay by their side, so you think that a guy would actually try it.
Men and women can be busy and at times they will give "space" in the relationship without realizing it, which immediately takes the romance away. Now, when at least one of them is busy and does not have time for the relationship the other will start wondering and seeking for attention. Attention will lead to cheating and cheating will result into breaking the trust; but mostly the relationship. Therefore, trust can be earned back and the relationship could work. But what if it would happen again and how should someone react? Well, it all depends on the person and how he/she deals with a situation like this. I mean if a guy catch you in a bed with someone else, there is nothing to be discussed. When, however, you are true to your relationship and have the power to admit what you have done, then that is where a part of the trust is slightly broken, but also earned! You admit you made a mistake, you are willing to work in order to earn that trust back and you show to that person that you do love them. But of course, you make sure you are not going to make the same mistake again, just because he does not deserve it and you would not like it if he would do it to you!
In contrast between the two, women cheat if there is something wrong with the relationship; guys cheat if there is an opportunity. In my opinion, this is not completely true, considering the fact that it could be all the other way around - guys cheat if there is something wrong with the relationship; women cheat if there is an opportunity. We all know that things changed a lot and women have become more powerful and independent. You cannot always blame men about everything that is happening, since us women can make things very difficult at times. We can also work many times a day, while the guy works less or not at all, so we should be able to understand both sides. However, some of us do, some of us don't, because we always try to find reasons to start a 'fight'.
For a relationship to work there should all be in there; romance, trust, respect, faithfulness and the ability to try and give everything you have in order for it to work. Do and try new things. There is nothing wrong in trying and reminding the person you love all the reasons you loved them in the first place. If the spark and all these are gone, there will be nothing left standing and you will then start wondering and wishing that things were different. We do not get a lot of chances, so we make the one we have worth it! If you want to be respected; show respect. If you want to be trusted, you should earn it. When anyone of the two makes a step back then the other will start making steps back, so it could never work. Both should try as much. It wouldn't be fair if the one was always trying to make the relationship alive while the other just 'goes along'.
I probably say this all the time, but be true to yourself in order to be able and be true to someone else. It all first starts with how you treat yourself and how much you respect You. When you know what you want and you are able to adjust with who you are, you will then manage with being in a relationship. Don't be afraid to give away a part of you in order to be loved. For then, you will be loved for the right reasons, and the relationship would be healthy and lasting. Be fun and never give up. There is always an answer behind every question as much as a solution behind every problem. Make your fairytale worth all the happy endings in the world, but make sure the fairytale is how You wanted it to be and stop looking for perfection such as the prince or the princess...
Love,
Crystal
xoxo
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